Roller coaster ride

I was on my way home and I've exceeded the limit of my data usage.
Since I was on the train and it will be a extremely long ride home, I told myself, " Hey, why not go through your phone gallery and delete whatever that is unnecessary?"
Being a sentimental person (yes, I tend to be super nostalgic), I've always been a hoarder. I'm also rather lazy, and I can't be bothered to delete the pictures in my phone (and yes, my whatsapp is on auto-download).
As I was saying, I find a need to delete stuff off my phone for it is running low on memory. I have so much time on the train and I can't access the internet, so why not make use of this time, right?
I scrolled all the way up to the very first picture in my gallery, tap on it and start to swipe my finger to the left.
Now, let's side track alittle, shall we?
If you were to know me well or  hang out with me long enough, you will come to realise that I don't usually take selfies and I rarely initiate taking of group photos. Me being me, I will either look like an awkward turtle or stick out like a sore thumb (in a really, really awkward manner).
My gallery is filled with stuff that people will send to me through whatsapp, that rare selfie/photo with my friend(s) and photos that I've downloaded.
Okay, back to the main point.
I have tons of pictures from whatsapp (yea, thanks auto download, should have turned it off huh) and I was chuckling away at the hilarious memes and photos from my friends.
And then the photos of me in secondary school, primary school, camps, my first family in NP, random meetups...
I started to smile to myself unknowingly.
It was then I felt this bittersweet pain.
Looking at photographs bring back memories. Your brain will replay those moments, with every single detail (be it faint or in HD). Your heart tells you how much those people mean to you, how those moments are precious to you.
Together, they remind me of how much I miss those times and how much I've drifted from each and every one of them.
"Do people really come and go, or were you the one who pushed them away?"
Could have been both.
I enjoyed tonight's stroll down memory lane. Now, time to think.
Time to reflect.
Like I always do.
Good night. (:

I'm still sorry for what I've done.

In the past, I was ashamed, afraid even.
I end up hurting and losing the one I love.
Things are still awkward between us, and I am to blame.
Please don't commit the same mistake. Only through the pain did I realised that it is okay to be who you want to be, to love who you want to.

A few more weeks and I can take a breather.

Endure Carissa. 

This semester has been a pretty bumpy ride. 

But I enjoyed myself. Pink dot and hair for hope was amazing. :D 

2 more things off my bucket list!

Pink dot 2013~

HFH~ :D

Burden

Life gets really really tiring sometimes.

Never in my life have I felt like such a burden before. 

Over thinking kills.

I will update this dead space soon. Give me some time. 

I would like to apologise for all the things I have done in Yuhua.
I don't deserve anything good.
I hurt a hell lot of people, especially you.
I caused a lot of trouble in Yuhua, fighting for what I think is right.
I remember crying during the grad day rehearsal, not because I can't bear to leave. But because I remembered all that I have been through, the reason for every single tear I shed there.
Come to think about it, it must be karma huh?
I apologise for being such an ass. Frankly, I suspect that we can never communicate properly because of that particular event, if you get me. As much as I've enjoyed that period of time, I suspect it is the root cause of all the problems.
I am really, really sorry.

Life

I don't know about you, but I do fear for my sanity at times. With all these going on around me. 

I do want to pour my heart out here, but there is a small part of me that fear the judgemental people out there. 

For now, I have to keep things to myself.