When you feel like a mess but have no idea why. 

Wait. Perhaps you do. But it's due to numerous reasons.

Screw reality. 

Hey you,

I know it doesn't really matter to you. But I need to get this off my chest.
Remember that night when they asked you about it? And you didn't tell the truth? (Or that's what I think)
Right after your response, I felt as if a dagger stabbed my heart.
I know, the past isn't something you go around parading and announcing. But when you deny it, it felt like I am rather insignificant to you. It felt like I wasted your time. It felt like I shouldn't have been a part of your life.
I know what I did wasn't right. I know I hurt you really badly. I am really sorry about that.
I cherish those moments with you. I really do. And what you said then made me realised that I am perhaps just a waste of your time. I shouldn't have been a part of your life, my apologies. ^^
Just so you know, I would have admitted it and said it if I were you and/or if such a question was directed at me.

How intriguing.

I will be back on Thursday. Give me awhile. I'm busy with work.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G_miGclPFGs
I'm hooked.

Insecurities.

"I feel fat."
"I need to lose weight."
"I'm ugly."
I'm sure most of you hear these all the time.
To you, it might be a desperate cry from what you call "attention whores". You ignore most of them, thinking "They need to get a life and stop trying to seek attention."
I dislike how stereotypical society is.
Why not change your perspective? Why stick to the bird's eye view of things when you can zoom into the minor details of the whole image? How do you know that these "attention seekers", "attention whores", or whatever you call them are seeking attention from others? Can't they be humans who just feels insecure about themselves?
When humans have certain opinions, they have 2 choices:
1) Keep it to themselves
2) Voice it out
These people just chose to rant about their insecurities. That's all. Why pick on them? Why not try to help them get over their insecurities instead of labelling them?
I'm not saying that such people don't exist. There are certain people out there who craves for attention. Even if they are what you call "attention seekers", by wasting 2 seconds of your time labelling them, aren't you giving them the attention they want as well? Besides, even if they crave attention, there must be an underlying reason. Be it family problems, horrible childhood experiences or just pure insanity ( Mental problems, what else could it be?).
Look at all those anorexic and bulimic people out there. I'm very sure a number of them said something similar. And instead of making them feel better, they receive nasty remarks about being attention seekers.
I am insecure about myself as well. In so MANY WAYS. You have no idea.
Back to the main point. Why not see it as people being humble about themselves. I'm sure you won't like it when some random person comes up to you and start ranting about how perfect he/she is. I for one, dislike extremely vain people due to their over confidence.
Even if you dislike their rants on being imperfect, it doesn't kill to say something nice or comforting to others.
Instead of calling them attention whores or ignoring them, why not try to comfort/compliment them, make them feel better about themselves?
They might disagree, but you know you did something good instead of going "Ermahgerd, she is such an attention seeker." -.-
Every one deserves to know how beautiful they are, no matter how imperfect they are in any way.
Every one deserves to hear something good from others once in a while, even if it is a try to help them regain a small portion of their confidence.
I'm sleepy... Do you get my point? :/
If you don't...
My point is, not every one whom you claim is an attention seeker is one. He/she just feels insecure.
Insecurities kill.

Somebody asked me a very good question. 

"What is the grossest thing you've ever done?"

Sharing a toothbrush. o.o

Yea. That just made you cringe in disgust doesn't it? (If it doesn't , you should try it. It's more disgusting than it sounds.)

It was during sec 3 councillor camp if I'm not wrong. I brought a new toothbrush to the camp and it went missing on the last day (THANK GOD IT WAS THE LAST DAY). 

I had to use a friend's toothbrush and god knows what she was thinking when she offered it. 

You should try it out. YOLO. HAHAHAHAHA. Don't. It's gross. D: 

Andrew in Drag

Yes, I'm a magnetic fields fan (:

No, it's not my 1 week break yet. But I have something in mind worth blogging.

If you know me and my past well enough, this post won't be foreign to you. I will try my best to make it reader friendly though. (LOL)

What am I saying? -.-

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2 years ago, I got to know some seniors through some sort of event/activity. Ahhh, I remember now. I just joined councillor board and I got roped in to participate in this certain thing. It was really enjoyable and worth the time. :D

Well, after some time, I got really close to this certain senior I knew from there. She was a really great friend. We click really well and we started texting each other EVERY day. It became a habit. At that point of time, I wondered if I can ever stop it. I mean, I enjoyed every moment of it and I cannot imagine myself without this habit. It got to a point where we did stop for a day (or even a few o.o) and it felt uncomfortable.  

It all started from numbers if I'm not wrong. More specifically, time. We would send each other 11:11 texts to inform the other party we caught it. And we will try our best not to miss it. From there, it got to the extend where we would catch any timing from 1:11 to 12:34. It was crazy. Yes. But for some reasons, it was addictive, fun and it kept me going. I would smile at every one of these texts. 

Trips to and from school, breakfast on weekends and studying at libraries started soon after that. 

I had a girlfriend then. (Jeng jeng jeng, oh shut up. It's the past.) And dear old bi curious me was constantly teased by my peers. And if I'm not wrong, she was teased as well. Poor thing. ._. 

Rumours sparked off like crazy. People around me thought I had a thing for this senior of mine.

Some called me a player (wth? Playing around with girls? You serious bro?). Some claimed I used this senior to get my position in the board (I was the president of the student council from 2011-2012, in case you don't know, which is unlikely). Sigh. 

For some reasons, girlfriend then chose to believe what others said and we broke up. 

And after some time, this senior and I, we sort of... drifted apart.

Up till now, some chose to remind me of the past, and continued to tease me about the "thing" I had with her. 

I find it funny when people bring it up. I suddenly thought of it just now while taking a shower and I end up falling in the shower because I was laughing so hard.

It's hilarious to me. It is a fine example of how reality works. 

She, for one, was a great friend. She was always there to hear me out and I can just rant to her non stop. We made fun of each other and she was there when I needed someone. 

All in all, she was a sister to me. 

Yet people around me, even my closest friends saw us as something completely different. They chose to perceive things in a peculiar angle. God bless you, my friend. Lol.

Now, go reflect and come up with your own moral behind this story. 

For me? I learnt so much from this. One of it being different people sees things in different angles. You can't change their judgement nor mindset. That, is reality.

This space is sooooooooooo dead. I will update it soon. During my 2 week break from work. I promise. (:
Till then. x