When you feel like a mess but have no idea why. 

Wait. Perhaps you do. But it's due to numerous reasons.

Screw reality. 

Hey you,

I know it doesn't really matter to you. But I need to get this off my chest.
Remember that night when they asked you about it? And you didn't tell the truth? (Or that's what I think)
Right after your response, I felt as if a dagger stabbed my heart.
I know, the past isn't something you go around parading and announcing. But when you deny it, it felt like I am rather insignificant to you. It felt like I wasted your time. It felt like I shouldn't have been a part of your life.
I know what I did wasn't right. I know I hurt you really badly. I am really sorry about that.
I cherish those moments with you. I really do. And what you said then made me realised that I am perhaps just a waste of your time. I shouldn't have been a part of your life, my apologies. ^^
Just so you know, I would have admitted it and said it if I were you and/or if such a question was directed at me.

How intriguing.

I will be back on Thursday. Give me awhile. I'm busy with work.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G_miGclPFGs
I'm hooked.

Insecurities.

"I feel fat."
"I need to lose weight."
"I'm ugly."
I'm sure most of you hear these all the time.
To you, it might be a desperate cry from what you call "attention whores". You ignore most of them, thinking "They need to get a life and stop trying to seek attention."
I dislike how stereotypical society is.
Why not change your perspective? Why stick to the bird's eye view of things when you can zoom into the minor details of the whole image? How do you know that these "attention seekers", "attention whores", or whatever you call them are seeking attention from others? Can't they be humans who just feels insecure about themselves?
When humans have certain opinions, they have 2 choices:
1) Keep it to themselves
2) Voice it out
These people just chose to rant about their insecurities. That's all. Why pick on them? Why not try to help them get over their insecurities instead of labelling them?
I'm not saying that such people don't exist. There are certain people out there who craves for attention. Even if they are what you call "attention seekers", by wasting 2 seconds of your time labelling them, aren't you giving them the attention they want as well? Besides, even if they crave attention, there must be an underlying reason. Be it family problems, horrible childhood experiences or just pure insanity ( Mental problems, what else could it be?).
Look at all those anorexic and bulimic people out there. I'm very sure a number of them said something similar. And instead of making them feel better, they receive nasty remarks about being attention seekers.
I am insecure about myself as well. In so MANY WAYS. You have no idea.
Back to the main point. Why not see it as people being humble about themselves. I'm sure you won't like it when some random person comes up to you and start ranting about how perfect he/she is. I for one, dislike extremely vain people due to their over confidence.
Even if you dislike their rants on being imperfect, it doesn't kill to say something nice or comforting to others.
Instead of calling them attention whores or ignoring them, why not try to comfort/compliment them, make them feel better about themselves?
They might disagree, but you know you did something good instead of going "Ermahgerd, she is such an attention seeker." -.-
Every one deserves to know how beautiful they are, no matter how imperfect they are in any way.
Every one deserves to hear something good from others once in a while, even if it is a try to help them regain a small portion of their confidence.
I'm sleepy... Do you get my point? :/
If you don't...
My point is, not every one whom you claim is an attention seeker is one. He/she just feels insecure.
Insecurities kill.

Somebody asked me a very good question. 

"What is the grossest thing you've ever done?"

Sharing a toothbrush. o.o

Yea. That just made you cringe in disgust doesn't it? (If it doesn't , you should try it. It's more disgusting than it sounds.)

It was during sec 3 councillor camp if I'm not wrong. I brought a new toothbrush to the camp and it went missing on the last day (THANK GOD IT WAS THE LAST DAY). 

I had to use a friend's toothbrush and god knows what she was thinking when she offered it. 

You should try it out. YOLO. HAHAHAHAHA. Don't. It's gross. D: 

Andrew in Drag

Yes, I'm a magnetic fields fan (:

No, it's not my 1 week break yet. But I have something in mind worth blogging.

If you know me and my past well enough, this post won't be foreign to you. I will try my best to make it reader friendly though. (LOL)

What am I saying? -.-

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

2 years ago, I got to know some seniors through some sort of event/activity. Ahhh, I remember now. I just joined councillor board and I got roped in to participate in this certain thing. It was really enjoyable and worth the time. :D

Well, after some time, I got really close to this certain senior I knew from there. She was a really great friend. We click really well and we started texting each other EVERY day. It became a habit. At that point of time, I wondered if I can ever stop it. I mean, I enjoyed every moment of it and I cannot imagine myself without this habit. It got to a point where we did stop for a day (or even a few o.o) and it felt uncomfortable.  

It all started from numbers if I'm not wrong. More specifically, time. We would send each other 11:11 texts to inform the other party we caught it. And we will try our best not to miss it. From there, it got to the extend where we would catch any timing from 1:11 to 12:34. It was crazy. Yes. But for some reasons, it was addictive, fun and it kept me going. I would smile at every one of these texts. 

Trips to and from school, breakfast on weekends and studying at libraries started soon after that. 

I had a girlfriend then. (Jeng jeng jeng, oh shut up. It's the past.) And dear old bi curious me was constantly teased by my peers. And if I'm not wrong, she was teased as well. Poor thing. ._. 

Rumours sparked off like crazy. People around me thought I had a thing for this senior of mine.

Some called me a player (wth? Playing around with girls? You serious bro?). Some claimed I used this senior to get my position in the board (I was the president of the student council from 2011-2012, in case you don't know, which is unlikely). Sigh. 

For some reasons, girlfriend then chose to believe what others said and we broke up. 

And after some time, this senior and I, we sort of... drifted apart.

Up till now, some chose to remind me of the past, and continued to tease me about the "thing" I had with her. 

I find it funny when people bring it up. I suddenly thought of it just now while taking a shower and I end up falling in the shower because I was laughing so hard.

It's hilarious to me. It is a fine example of how reality works. 

She, for one, was a great friend. She was always there to hear me out and I can just rant to her non stop. We made fun of each other and she was there when I needed someone. 

All in all, she was a sister to me. 

Yet people around me, even my closest friends saw us as something completely different. They chose to perceive things in a peculiar angle. God bless you, my friend. Lol.

Now, go reflect and come up with your own moral behind this story. 

For me? I learnt so much from this. One of it being different people sees things in different angles. You can't change their judgement nor mindset. That, is reality.

This space is sooooooooooo dead. I will update it soon. During my 2 week break from work. I promise. (:
Till then. x

Pardon me. I am just tired.

I want to be a cloud. I want to be carefree.

My previous post reminds me of something.
I am never good at giving advice. I can never say anything that's right.
When people are in trouble, all I can do is "What's wrong?" And I will stay silent after that.
Because I do not have the slightest idea of what to say. And I will go on thinking about how useless I am.
And I do not want any one to feel the same way I felt.
My consideration is starting to backfire. The flashbacks are haunting me.
Nuff said. I'm heading to bed. I'm just tired.

Flash backs. Sigh. How do I even get rid of them? 

Isn't it good to just sit down with someone who really cares about you, talk about every thing, cry it all out, and have that person hold you and tell you every thing will be fine? 

I don't even know who really cares any more. What if I entrust all these to the wrong person? Who is just curious and who don't really cares?

What if she/he does not know what to do, what to say and is just as lost as I am?

That's why I like keeping things to myself.

But I judge myself more than others. 

Why am I so hard on myself?

Flashbacks, go away. 

They say what doesn't kill you makes you stronger.
Sure, whatever helps you sleep at night.

Did I ever mention anything about my memory before? No? Alright, here goes. 

I also wonder if it should be considered a good thing. 

I can't recall most fights I have. Yep, I just can't. How do I put it... Urm....

Let's say I flare up now and fight with a friend of mine. Chances are, a few hours later, the memory of the fight becomes fuzzy and unclear. And a few days or few weeks later (it only takes hours sometimes), if anyone tries to remind me about it, I won't be able to remember anything. I will try my best to recall, but there will be a blank slot in between certain scenes. o.o 

I did mention MOST didn't I? There are a few bickers and small fights I can remember in full details though.

Oh, and then during one of those few breakdowns, when I say breakdown I really meant "I am sick of everything and I am done holding back for so long" kind, everything will just start replaying itself in my mind. I will cry even harder, but this is normal I presume?

It suddenly struck me today that my brain was actually trying to protect me from these bad memories. Oh stop it you (: 

HAHAHAH, I AM TALKING TO MY BRAIN.

I have my own reasons for coming to that conclusion.

She mentioned that today. I tried my best to recall. All I remembered was the wailing and the hair grabbing. The letter with her name. Banging of head against the wall. Threatening with a cook's knife. Wanting to jump off the 11th floor. Borrowing $700-$1000. 

But that kick? The whole spine thing... No. How did that even happened? 

I wonder if I am mentally sound at times. Since I did not turn to self harm, every thing should be fine.

I think I can write a book. About my life so far, in the past 15, going 16 years. 

I think I am the root of all these problems.

Take a scythe, cut my life line. Everything will then be fine.

But it's all too late isn't it?

I think I'm just tired. 

If this continues tomorrow, I will probably have to come back here. 

O LEVELS IS OVERRRRRRRRR

Time to hibernate ;D

I lied. I am back. HAHAHAHAHAHA.
I was talking to someone about how I was like when I was younger. I used to be a rather queer kid, you see. (Hmmm, I still am :P )
I am the only child and I do not have any play mates at all. ): What kept me going was my imagination. :D
Bear in mind, I was only 5 at that time. Here goes.
I would often pretend I am a scientist. And I "invented" a suit that can withstand lava and enable me to enter volcanoes. Let me make it easier for you to visualise. Just imagine an astronaut suit with a super long wire attached to it.
Hold on, hold on. Let me finish first. (:
I had 2 "prototypes" of that suit. (Mind you, it's an imaginary suit, don't be too harsh on a child) The first is made of materials that will not disintegrate when in contact with lava. Sounds rather impossible huh? I realised that it was rather unrealistic too. I mean, I will die due to the heat! (Dear 5 year old me, you are so smart!) Therefore, 5 year old Carissa came up with a second idea. Volcano suit 2.0 was thus born. It is exactly the same though. Except that this time, there is a cooling system in the suit and there is a thick layer of air trapped in the suit to act as a layer of insulator. Yep. I was 5. Which 5 year old kid would think of using air as an insulator? Oh dear god, what was I thinking?
Just a short story that I have been wanting to share for a long time. :P

I will be back. After O's. My last paper is on 8 nov. Wait till then, just a month. (:

There will always be certain consequences.

Another month to O's. Time flies. It seemed just like yesterday when the banner indicated that we have 80+ days left.

 

This.

There are reasons why I keep most things to myself.

I can never satisfy the people around me. 

Apparently, doing well and not having any remarks about it makes you complacent. On the other hand, trying your best and still not producing results makes you lazy. 

And when you are moody, you have to keep everything to yourself and still put up a smile or else you will be an annoying bitch.

Why satisfy people? Why not do things your own way? 

It's called being considerate. If everyone were to do things their own way, earth will be a pretty miserable place, don't you think so? 

And my prelim results have to make things worse. Imagine failing a paper in your niche subject. 

The best part about today was actually her concern. 

It's not right, but it's okay.

No, don't act like everything is fine. I am still pissed with you. I just don't show it. I don't want to spoil your day, like how you spoilt mine, for about 2 weeks.

Thought it's all over, it won't be back. Seems like there will always be someone who will prove me wrong, time and time again. 

This.

Never question your own intelligence. We, as students in Singapore, are pretty amazing people.
We have to memorise at least 2-3 textbooks, tons of essays and formulas. 
Just a thought. 

My biggest rival is definitely myself. No doubt.

The fact that you reacted this way shows a lot.
So much for talking about others? Look at yourself. (:
You lied for your own benefit. Guess what? I will never be there for you ever again. Again, very childish decision. But an eye for an eye. I don't care if the world goes blind, I can't be bothered with you any more.
A small act of yours affects me big time dude.

Do you know how socially awkward I feel now? Even around people whom I know I could trust? Thanks for creating such trust issues. Thanks for making me feel insecure. It is a big deal for me. Nah, none of you will understand. 

I typed out a whole load of crap. And deleted it. No point blogging about something when nobody cares.

I know I sound like a total bitch. But it's the truth. And the truth burns. Handle it like a man. You gave me enough drama. -.-

Let's settle it, once and for all.

Disclaimer: I know I promised a happier post, I can't. I'm sorry. Be entertained with the current drama in my life instead. 

So you, it seems like you like to rake up the past, A LOT. Let me clear things up.

I didn't talk behind your back, I didn't over react and I didn't make you "look like shit". I merely told my friends the truth when they asked me about it. Here is a question directed back at you. You claimed that I have no proof. I have, a lot. What about you? What made you think that what your friends said or what you have heard is true? You didn't hear it from me right? Stop being so immature and grow the hell up boy.

I go after guys? Seriously? What am I? Some kind of whore now? I can't have male best friends? What about you? You have female friends also right? So you are flirting with them is it? Come on larh, stop being so childish. I don't go after guys and I am not the whore that you described. GET THE FACTS RIGHT. -.-

You keep saying I break your heart and you merely made a small mistake. And I can't overlook that small mistake. Don't you get it? It is not that incident, it is your habits that is such a major turn off. You know what, you asked for it. I am going to list down everything I dislike about you and why I would not want to retur to your side ever again. Ready? You asked for it asshole, just a reminder. ;) 

1. You are way too emotional for a guy.
   Yea sure, it is a good thing. But seriously, your emotions? Gigantic roller coasters man. I dislike guys with huge emotional roller coasters. Let me give you one example, you have to rake up the past over and over again, even when everything is settled. This just shows how emotionally unsettled you are. Another example? That night? When you over react. Another fine example? Scolding me and being so terasa. Thinking that I talk shit behind your back and made you look horrible to my friends. This leads to my next point.
2. You are immature.
   Unstable emotions leads to childish and immature attitude. By making a big fuss out of everything. By not studying, thinking that it is not a big deal. By having bad habits. By calling me disgusting. By being so terasa once again. By saying I go after guys and making me sound like a whore. By influencing your friends to give up studying for N levels. By scolding her when she merely texted you to clarify stuff. By   drinking and smoking to "get over me". That is just a lame and childish mindset. Pfft. (That includes asking me to gtfo and calling me an idiot. :D ) 
3. You drink FREQUENTLY.
   Not trying to say that I don't. But I only do so during rare occasions. I don't drink ever so often because it spoils my body. Just look at you. -___-
4. Smoking.
   I have proof that you smoke. I can tell you who, just come and ask me YOURSELF. ;)
5. You don't study.
   Guys who rather play than study, even during their major exams = total turn off. Don't rely on your dad. Be a real man, grow up and start a career on your own. MAN UP PLEASE. 
6. You influence your friends to drink, smoke and give up studying together with you.
   Pretty self explanatory huh? Turn off. 
7. You lie. You don't change your habits.
   You don't want to change? Don't expect me to accept you.
8. You influence your friends to go along with your bad habits.
   Hmmm. What can I say. 

Grow the hell up dear. :D 

Prata appreciation day.

I ate prata for breakfast and it turned out to be the best one I had ever tasted. Thought the best one is at Mr Teh Tarik. But no, it's at the food court near my house! :D 

Okay, why the hell am I blogging about prata? Am I that lame? 

No. Just think about it, when was the last time you ate a prata that was so delicious that you crave for more servings of it? That greasy, carb filled piece of guilty pleasure, be it plain, with egg or cheese... And it comes along with a pool of your favourite curry or a heap of caster sugar... 

But there are certain things we look out for in a prata before we entitle it the best prata we have ever had. There is a certain set of criteria to follow. That entitlement doesn't come that easily. The king of prata cannot be too elastic. It can't be soggy and soaked with oil when served. No, that won't do.

I went down for breakfast and I saw this long queue in front of the prata store at the food court. Being a typical Singaporean, my instincts told me to try out their prata. I mean, come on, a long queue most probably means quality food right? 

I was starving at that time and I contemplated about the quantity. Being quite a daredevil, I took a risk and  ordered 2 plain ones. What's the risk you ask? Imagine if they sell rubber-like pratas or soggy and drenched ones. The thought of that is plain disgusting D: 

I got my prata and jeng jeng jeng, the moment of truth is here!

That very moment I tore my prata with ease, I was overwhelmed with relief. I could enjoy my breakfast without aching jaws and sore gums. And what's more surprising? The prata is crispy and easy to chew. That food porn/orgasmic moment. Oh god. *-* Trust me, I had a great time in prata heaven. :>

Thinking about it, we humans are rather funny. (Ok, maybe it's just me.) We can have such high expectations of everything. 

Back to the point, if you have had moments like this, try to appreciate it. It's not everyday where we get to taste and indulge in such tasty treats. Such moments of awesome~ :D 

Words can kill.

I sound very moody and grumpy in my past few posts. My apologies. This month has been rough and I'm letting my fatigue and mood swings overcome me.
Wait. Before I go on, a disclaimer. This post ain't going to be about me. I will be standing up for a friend. Bare with me. I promise my next post will be less... angry. :P
I have certain male school mates who are disrespectful towards the feelings of certain girls. They hurl their insults at them like nobody's business. And they never ever think of the consequences of their actions.
Let's slow down a little. I would like to clarify a thing or two. You can go ahead and call me a feminist or a complain queen or whatever you want to. The thought of guys hurting the ego and bringing down the self-esteem of girls is horrible. And I can't stand such acts.
Ok, let's be realistic. Majority of us judge people by their looks. I'm sure you know of certain people who are like that. They fling themselves to people whom they think are good looking. To them, "average" people can scram out of their life. They dislike people whom are not attractive to them. They despise them and continuously hurl insults at those whom they dislike.
Sad to say, I do know people like that. And what's even more disappointing? These people whom I know are guys.
Whoa. Hold it there. I didn't claim ALL guys. There are still gentlemen in our society. However, the thought of certain guys who are abhorrent and obnoxious just saddens me.
As usual, I will give these guys the privacy they need and not name anyone.
I know a few guys and apparently, from what I heard. They are just plain rude. They direct insults at girls. Calling girls they don't like "ugly" or "fat". OR, when talking about being friends with those girls, they will give the "eew" expression.
I'm sure, there are some other females (or even gentlemen) out there, who along with me, empathise with such girls who had to undergo such ill treatment.
If you are one of those bullies out there, have you ever heard of karma? What goes around comes around. I'm very sure one fine day karma will punch you right in your face, leaving a black eye behind. I'm sure you do not want people to treat you this way. And one more thing. Take a look in the mirror. Have a good look at yourself. You ain't that good looking at well, especially with that heart of yours. Do you deserve the rights to hurl verbal stones at others? Think about it.
And I am not discriminating the males now. There are females who do so to. And like I said, just wait for that one fine day, when the karma police comes and get those who are guilty.
I'm not saying I am oh-so-perfect. Yes, I am aware I do hurt people's feelings from time to time unintentionally. But I do make an effort to apologise after I realise my mistake.
Do take a step back, reflect on what you have said. Or even better, think before you say anything sensitive. Certain people have brittle self-esteem. It's okay to joke, but do know your limits. Try to be less insensitive and everyone will be happier won't they? :D

Hi Anonymous. Another one for you. :D

I was sorting out some files and I found this folder. 

This folder contains screenshots of all my fb statuses to prove my innocence when I was framed. In case any of you have no idea what I'm talking about, click here.

Oh, and Anonymous, if you are reading this, stay close alright. Let me tell you what happened. I'm sure you must be curious. Wait, let me tell you what really happened. Don't listen to all those rumours. :D

I showed Mr S the photos. And lady luck was in your favour. He did not trust me at all. He believed you. And guess what? I almost had to make a public apology to the school. It took me awhile to convince him to change his mind. 

Yes, I did say I am not really affected by it. I'm not. I'm just slightly upset. But do you want to know why I continue to persuade Mr Su to change his mind? I despise the fact that I had to apologise for something I did not do. 

Sorry anonymous, your plan to humiliate me failed. Big time. :D 

Like I mentioned before, you merely made my mentor and I upset. Nothing major happened. Congratulations. Your plan backfired as it made me stronger. :>

And I'm up for more. What other plans do you have now? My life sure is fun with all these happening. 

No, I'm not bearing a grudge against you. I'm just issuing a warning. Don't come messing around with me. I'm sure you get what I'm trying to convey, don't you? (:  

When you feel like asdfghjkl in the middle of the night.
You can't sleep and you tend to over think stuff.

I tend to over think stuff.

I guess. o.o

I have this super bad habit of cursing people who tend to do stuff that are harmful to their bodies. No, by curse, I do not mean the usage of vulgarities. Let me give you a few examples.

When I see someone smoke, thoughts like "Carry on smoking, it's not even cool. Hahah, have fun flirting with lung cancer" will automatically pop into my brain. When I see someone who frequently inflicts self harm; "Oh gosh. That's horrible. Why cut yourself? If you want to die that badly then just cut out the whole vein." When I see a frequent drinker, especially of our age; "I hope you die of intoxication."

Wait, don't judge me yet, hear me out. 

No, I am not mocking people who slash. I feel their pain. I pity them. I understand how they feel. In fact, I once had a lot of friends who inflict self harm. And I would proceed to stop them from doing so at all costs. There was even once when I got slash in the face when I tried to stop my friend. Point is, why torture yourself so badly? Why not go for a more straightforward death. No. Don't. Why do you even inflict such pain on yourself? Appreciate your body. Please.

Yes. I do drink. But not frequently. Only once in a while. I try to avoid alcohol at all costs. Yes, I recently drank at a friend's birthday celebration. But I told myself to not do it again for a long time. As a bio student, I know what alcohol does to your body and how hard it is for your body to detoxify the alcohol. Also, alcohol is known to trap fats in the abdomen area and you will need to put in extra effort to exercise in order to prevent that from happening. I hate what it does to our body. I don't get why people drink to "forget" their problems. That is BULLSHIT. -.- Back to the point. You are so young, and yet you drink so much. I swear to godzilla that your body will be damaged by the alcohol. ._.

And yes. I'm against smokers. Don't ask why. It's obvious enough.

Am I way too much? :/ 

Stepping down. :D

Yep, you read it correctly. I have officially stepped down from the board. I will bore you guys out again and post a copy of my speech here. Just in case you are curious about it's content. Trust me, the length of my speech is a turn off for some :P

Good morning Miss Ng, Mr Jansen, Mr Loh, teachers and my fellow schoolmates. I’m Carissa, the president of 2011-2012.
It seemed just like yesterday when I was standing backstage with my current exco members, waiting for our turn to step up. We were nervous and excited about taking over. To think that was about 1 year and 4 months ago. Time flies when you are really enjoying yourself.

Serving the board and the school as the president of the student council has been a challenging and enjoyable task. Umpteen opportunities were offered to me to shape me into a better leader and I am very grateful for such opportunities provided.

Important lessons were also picked up and learnt throughout this journey of mine. Teachers were often there to guide and mentor me so that I will make the right decisions that are beneficial for the board. They were also there to give me motivation and encouragements. For example, Mrs Ko, who is always there to offer a listening ear. And also Mr Yeo, my co-form teacher, who is there to help when I needed help with my time management. Also, without the teachers, I would never have learnt an important lesson; humility. Mr Su especially, taught me the importance of being modest and respectful towards both my councillors and the authority. Mutual respect is important and I have to respect everyone in order for them to do the same. No matter what I do, I must put the authorities and the welfare of my people into consideration. I really appreciate the help and support from the teachers. And therefore, I would like to take this opportunity to thank all the teachers for their guidance.

My sec 3 and sec 2 councillors are important in my leadership journey as well. Their feedback allowed me to improve as a leader and their cooperation result in tasks being carried out efficiently. Also, I have been observing them and I have to say that I am impressed and I have learnt a lot from their attitude and character towards work.

I would like to highlight that I would not have come this far without my excos. Despite having conflict at times, they are always there to stand by me and support my decisions and actions. I am proud to say that they are a very efficient team and I can entrust them with certain tasks and get them done way before any datelines. My excos never gave up on me, and I am really thankful to have such a supportive group of friends. I have gone through thick and thin with them and they will be the greatest memory that I have of the board. The camps and activities we have conducted, and the courses we attended really brought us together. Therefore, today, I would like to express my heartfelt gratitude towards them. Once again, I would like to introduce my team of excos to you. These are the leaders of the school who have been serving all of you for the past 1 year and 4 months.

Firstly, I would like to introduce my secretary, Erra Syamira. In my opinion, she is one of the most efficient secretaries. She is always there whenever I need her to do something. For example, I just need to give her a call and tell her to convey a certain message to the councillors. And bam! The councillors will receive the message the very next minute.
Next, the deputy vice president, Debbie Chew. She gets things done straight away once I pass her any instructions. She would even take initiative to double check that everything is fine.
The head of operation, Munirah Sulaiman. Just like Erra and Debbie, she is always there to make sure things are fine and if they are not, she will make sure that she get things right. She is like the “superman” of the board.
The planning committee; Head of planning, Udai; Assistant head of planning, Phyo Cherry. They come up with the best ideas. And besides planning, they also assist in other ways, such as helping out with the discipline of the board.
Head of PA, Putra Adika; Assistant head of PA, Tan Jiexun. They are the guys who made sure that the sound system for every event is working. Their job is not as easy as you think it is.
Head of discipline, Danish Durrani ; Assistant head of discipline, Aleen Tan and Danish Ashraf. Leaders have to be disciplined. And they have a challenging job of managing the discipline of the board. They set the rules and standard of the board and it is not easy for them.
The leader mentors, Nur Jannah Chan and Isabelle Ong. They play a huge role in helping out in certain tasks and also guiding the juniors during activities such as camps. They are the ones who maintain the hype of the board. They also play a role in assisting the discipline committee.
Head of social sprit, Nadhirah Hasan; assistant head of social sprit, Ng Wanling. Just like the leader mentors, they play a huge role in boosting the morale of the board. Their encouragements and motivations keep the board functioning. They also help the discipline and planning committee at times.
Last but not least, our quarter mistress, Nur Afini. She helps to maintain the councillor room and she plays a huge role during camps or other activities. Being the only quarter mistress, her task could be tough at times.

This is the team of excos that I have been working with. Can I have a round of applause for them? A big thank you to my excos. I really appreciate all of you and your efforts.

If given a choice, I would still choose to take on this role, as the president of the councillor board. It has been a great experience and I know my leadership journey doesn’t end here. I am looking forward to what awaits me in the future. Once again, thank you to the teachers, councillors and the excos. And also, thank you for being such a wonderful audience. Thank you for your kind attention.

HELLO. If you are still here, I salute you. Hahahahah. I will post pictures some other time, but not now. I can't find my usb cable. :X 

Anyways, sorry for the long post, here is a potato. 

I just had the most entertaining, amusing yet annoying time sorting out the votes for the bottle sculpture competition. (I forget to screenshot anything, hence, sorry for a boring post :X)
Apparently, my instructions won't clear enough and my dear juniors from 2n3 started spamming.
There was this guy, he voted every minute. Seems like a patient guy. HAHAHAH. Some were smart enough to make variations in their name, thinking I am a machine and won't be able to spot the spam.
For example, there was this girl. Here name is hui hui. This is how she spammed in the name and class column:

 huihui, (her class)

hui hui (her class)

Another one:

Aloysius, (his class)

aloysius (his class)

I swear they are super creative. And there was this vote. This person voted for 2N3. And what did he put under the name and class column?

2N3. 

HAHAHAHAH. So funny. XD

I am seriously amused. I was raging very baly until I saw these. Hahahah. Cracked me up a little. (:

Or, let me show you guys something. 

Nice photo huh? Look closely. 

Notice anything? Lol. Doesn't look like Ridha's hand. It is grey in colour. JENG JENG. GHOST. HAHAHAHAHAH. No larh. Go figure it out yourself ;D

Anyways, councillors investiture in 2 days time! I can't wait to step down and focus on my studies. It' a huge step to take though, being in the board for so long. I will save that for another post. Till then. :D 

Some thing tells me that tomorrow will be a horrible day. Oh well.

Suck it up.

I am starting to doubt my own aptitude and abilities.

Let's start on my character first, shall we?
The temper that I managed to kick away when I was in sec 2 is back. I get upset and frustrated easily nowadays. Take that incident with Mr O for example. I burst and start shooting vulgarities at him because he put words in my mouth and doubt my leadership. As a school leader, I should have understood the fact the authorities can be a total bitch at times. I must know and accept that fact better than any other student in the school. But I failed to do so, despite going for numerous leadership courses. 

And I guess some of my friends can't stand my personality and they start to pick on me. Picking on minor things when I continue to tolerate your bullshit. Urm, hello, you are no better yourself. Go talk to the mirror first.

You see? You see what I mean? I sound so pissed over such minor stuff in my previous paragraph. :/

Ahhhh. Then my leadership. I heard that teachers are doubting my leadership. I don't get them at all. When I don't fight for student rights, the teachers will approach me and tell me to be more active as the principal thinks that we are quite low key and not taking the initiative to do anything. Fine, I suggested lots of ideas. And the teachers continuously reject them. Since that didn't work, I focus more on student welfare. 

Last year, during councillor camp, I fought for my juniors' rights to conduct camps. It ended up as a fight between me and Mr S as I keep insisting that my juniors deserve the chance to experience what I did. And it was on the night before my birthday. I end up crying because I felt guilty. My birthday was spoilt as I found out that Mr Su planned to remove me from the board as the president. I ended up apologising as it was my "fault" for not respecting the authorities. 

Never mind. Then Ms S. I stood up for my councillors again, because she mistreated them. And I got a terrible scolding instead because I'm at fault for standing up for my people.

And then the Mr O thing. I went to clarify some stuff for my class and end up being doubted and accused. 

To the teachers, my numerous efforts of trying to fight for student rights = not respecting them nor the authority. They were the ones who urge me to stand up for the students and be their voice. I did as told, and I am now being labelled as a very rebellious and hot headed student leader. You have no idea how I feel when I heard that from one of the teachers.

Dear teachers, if any of you happened to read this, question yourself before you doubt me. As teachers, you are the leaders of the school as well. And by judging your student like this, are you a good leader? You have no idea how that piece of news hurt my ego, my self esteem, my feelings. 

The past few weeks have been super stressful because of h3roes and tests. I can only head to bed in the wee hours of the night. I end up waking up late almost everyday because of my sleeping patterns. And when I'm late, both my councillors and the teachers will give me that particular "Wow, so much for being a role model" stare. I get it. Stop stressing me. I fail as a leader. I'm sorry to everyone under my lead. I'm really sorry. 

And then academic wise. Hah. 

I'm such a joke. 

I submitted an application for DSA to a school that I didn't want to enter. Why? I want to see if I'm up to standard. And I guess I have high expectations of myself. I told myself that with my grades and CCA records, I would be accepted. I will reject the offer as I can get into way better schools and this will only serve as a form of encouragement. 

What a joke. Carissa is such a snob. Think you are so superior right?

So the dateline is over. Nope, I didn't receive any offers. But people I know whom have worse results and CCA records were given the offer. 

Go on Carissa, continue to be such an airhead. 

I feel so demoralised now. I am not up to standard, both academic and personality wise. How far can I go in life?

Everything I do seems to backfire. I am always the bad guy in every situation. 

I'm screwed. I'm a mess. I'm a failure.

Suck it up kid, suck it up. This is life after all. It's never fair. And this is what you deserved. Life merely gave you a punch in the face. 

Boo freaking hoo ):

Remember I once said I live to eat? I guess that sort of changed. :/
About a month or two ago, some random guy have to tell me I'm fat. I don't know whether to take it as a joke or to take it seriously, but I became super self conscious for sure. I thought about what he said for the whole day. And I made up my mind to do sit-ups every day. That's a good thing right? Yea sure. I started off small. But within a week, I managed to spam sit-ups every night. I would usually stop at 30 or 40, but I got to the extent that the comment will continue ringing in my head and I would increase my pace and exceed the 120 mark.
And I lost 7kg within a span of one month or so. I found out during PE and my PE teacher was super shocked about my weight loss. Hahahah. That's great news isn't it?
No. All roses have thorns right?
What's so bad? I became EXTREMELY self conscious after that day. I start to watch my diet and the thought of food  = a total turn off. And when I do crave for certain food, the comment with start ringing in my head, like a broken tape recorder.
And I realised how hilarious I am. Why am I watching my diet when I'm a vegetarian? Why am I forcing myself to do so much sit-ups and go for even more jogs when I exercise on a regular basis?
Gahh. I feel pathetic. :/

Shake it out.

Today's weird. 

I was genuinely happy today. But at the same time, my heart felt heavy and something was bothering me for the whole day. The weird thing is, I don't know why. o.o In the evening, a migraine struck me. It was the very same kind of migraine I had the other night when we were drinking. Don't judge me. Lol. It was a once in a while thing. -.-

Okay, let's get back on track. As I was saying, I felt weird. It was like a surge of emotions overwhelm me but I was able to control it. And it ended up being a mixture of happiness and being bothered. 

It all started yesterday. Strange. 

Just a rant.

Ok, I'm blogging at an inappropriate time. I need to rush for meeting and here I am now, blogging. :X

So, let's get started.

I like hanging out with my guy friends. I mean, I love my girlfriends but I usually hang out more with the guys. Why? In terms of gaming, I don't know any girls in my school who game. So if I want to talk about gaming, I would hang out with the guys.

And hence, today's topic. MALE GAMERS. 

I hate it when male gamers go "Girls shouldn't even be playing games." or "Girls are noobs, stay in the kitchen." I despise guys who are sexist towards female gamers. 

Few months ago, I was challenged by one of my friends in a game. We got the EXACT same score and he went around bragging "Carissa lost larh. She so noob." Excuse me? We got the exact same score dude. I was so pissed and I decided to get back at him. I challenged him this time. With the exact same characters.
I managed to kill him a lot of times and he didn't even get to score a kill. :D And guess what he said. Omg. -.-

"She is a girl, I give chance only." 

Are you serious?! So I challenged him again. And he declined. Not willing to give me any reasons. And he still go around boasting about him being better than me. 

And then recently. A high level friend of mine ask me to join him. I was way under level, but I agreed because he managed to persuade me.We end up getting the same number of kills and deaths. He only has 3 more assists than me.

And he went to tell his friends that I was feeding.

Omg. Don't you feel ashamed? My level is way lower and we got a similar score. And instead you claimed that I was feeding? -.- 

And that's when another guy told me this. I'm not angry, just surprised.

"You are a rare species of girls."

And that's why? -.-

I'm not trying to imply that all male gamers are like that. Neither am I trying to say that I am a pro. Because I know myself, and I am just an amateur. 

What I am trying to convey? I just can't stand guys like that. -.- 

I never felt like such a failure before.

Hello. One month flew past just like that. 

Let's chiong homework now!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

Isn't she gorgeous? My current obsession. <3 :D  

I am currently editing my investiture speech when something popped into my mind.

I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO GIVE MY EXCOS ON THAT DAY. OMG.

I mean it's not compulsory, but I really appreciate them for their service to the board. And frankly, I need to acknowledge that, if not, I will feel like I failed as a leader. After all, I need to encourage the heart. And this is the perfect opportunity to do so. 

They did so much for the board and I'm really thankful for their presence. The amount of effort they put in during camps and during our own investiture... 

The last thing that I would want to do is to forget and not appreciate them. 

Especially for this.

Oh my. :'D

What should I do? Hmmm. 

Hello. :D 

So...My friends and I went to the LoL 1st anniversary party. 

THE WHOLE DAY WAS SO EPIC. No. Not really because of the event. But because of food. :X

We went to pastamania to have breakfast and they served Shaun's and Xavier's pasta twice. And the guys claimed that they were humble enough to reject the 2nd serving. More like they were too full. Tsk. :P

In the afternoon, we head to Mac and Shaun ordered Mcflurry. He took the Banana flavoured one (which was actually someone else's). He told the crew and got another original one, for free. Lucky day huh?

Oh wait, there's more! We went to Toastbox for dinner. The person served Anders' curry chicken twice and gave me kaya toast instead of butter. I mean, I was really lucky, after all, kaya toast cost more. :D

Okay, I just find it amusing. If you don't then too bad. 

Next, if you had added me on facebook, you would have seen this. Help me like it! If I get more than 30 likes, Aleen will treat me starbucks! Go go go! XD 

"What's your hobby?"

I hate the fact that I can't answer such questions. And I would, at all costs, shun such questions. I do have certain interests, like reading and gaming, but I don't really consider them as hobbies. Don't ask me why. It's how my brain classifies things. 

And then it hit me. 

I like to think. So... thinking is my hobby! :D

I'm serious. o.o 

Think as in figure out why things turned out a certain way, and what could have been done to change the outcome. Think as in to analyse my life, to analyse different things, different situations. 

But definitely not figure out arithmetic questions. ._.

I guess I'm rather eccentric. Who the hell considers thinking as their hobby? Everybody thinks. It is necessary for everyone to function. 

I don't know. I like to figure out how things work. And from there, I would drift off to another subject, such as... Certain people around me. I would analyse their behaviour and actions and try to make sense out of everything that has happened. 

Wait... Am I judging people? Is that considered judging them? o.o Gosh. I'm starting to find this weird. I tend to over think stuff. Hahah, I'm not surprised if I end up being super paranoid someday.

Oh, and before I go any further, no, I don't day dream. I think. It's different. 

There's a huge difference in both you see. When you day dream, your thoughts will lead you "astray". You will tend to drift off to this imaginary land and visualise all sorts of different things. It's like the dreams you have at night. Random, weird and sometimes senseless.

On the other hand, thinking is different. No, I shouldn't say thinking. I should say trying to assimilate and comprehend things. In this case, you tend to focus on a certain topic or subject. You would try to foresee outcomes or try to conclude and make sense out of what has already happened. You would try to visualise different outcomes. It is to understand what you have not. It is to make complete sense out of none. 

Sounds contradicting? Nah. Think about it. Figure it out. ;D

Hahahah. I can be a philosopher or something. Chey. As if. My IQ and EQ ain't that high anyways.

Such a habit doesn't seem to cultivate any good in me though. ._.

Ok wait. Let's hope it does. Nah, I won't hope. I will think about it. :P 

Be warned. Extremely wordy post.

Exactly a week since you passed away.
For those who are unsure of what's going on, let me enlighten you. My dog passed away on 1st May.
So for those who can't careless, please click that x on the top right hand corner of your window or tab. Let me go on.
It all started when my dog was diagnosed with jaundice, heart and liver problems. That was about... 3 weeks back? A few days before we brought her to the vet, she didn't eat much. No appetite I guess.
We were all so worried. Brought her to the vet and she was diagnosed with all these conditions. I did not believe the vet at first. He wasn't even serious during the consultation, let alone sound serious about it. My dad apparently said something that agitated him and the next thing I know, the vet said :"You might as well put him to sleep."
I get it, it was late at night, you are tired and cranky from a whole day of consultation. But come on, my dog is in such a serious condition and you gave us the "can't be bothered" attitude? And because my father questioned you about stuff you had to say such inhumane things. Some kind of vet you are.
He gave my dog heaps of medicine. I mean it. One whole bag, a variety of pills. My dog is still quite healthy, I thought to myself, why need so much pills?
I told the vet that my dog has no appetite, so she will not consume any food, let alone take the pills.
He gave the worse suggestion that we heed. Smash the pills, mix it with water, force and pump it down my dog's throat using a syringe. Oh, and did I mention that he did not tell us about my dog having jaundice? I have to overhear it from the nurses to find out. Seriously? WORSE VET EVER.
This whole thing went on for 2 weeks. My dog even refused to eat. We have to keep her alive by forcing her to drink glucose solution. The appetizers weren't working and I got so scared. I asked my family to bring her back to the vet. But no one heeded my advice. Financial issues, my dad said.
It was a Friday. I had supplementary lessons that morning and as usual, I have to report to school by 7:50 if I'm not wrong. I woke up early that day. I was brushing my teeth when I heard my parents panicking in the living room. I didn't even rinse my mouth and just threw my toothbrush in the sink. My dog puked out the medicine. She was panting and she looked horrible. Very unlike her usual self.
The next moment was the scene which I can never forget. It became an often flashback. It was so terrifying. Why? Because I witnessed my loved one die. Right in front of my own eyes.
She started pissing herself and panting non-stop. After a few seconds, she stopped. My dad and I were so worried, we keep calling out her name. She seemed to struggle to keep herself alive. And after a few more seconds, she started panting again. This time, with her tongue sticking out.
I called the clinic's emergency hotline. It was 7am at that time. Exactly 7. I explained the emergency my dog was in. I was fuming after I heard the reception's response.
"Ok, why not bring her in for consultation at 9? Sending her in now means extra charges."
My next reaction? I shouted at her, right through the phone.
"MY DOG IS DYING AND YOU WANT ME TO SEND HER 2 HOURS LATER? DON'T YOU HAVE AN AMBULANCE FOR EMERGENCY CONSULTATIONS?"
"We do have emergency consultations, with extra charges of course, but we don't have any transport."
Who cares about the extra charges? It's a goddamn emergency.
I hung up right away.
My dog stopped panting.
She passed away. After panting for awhile. Just like that.
I guess we only had ourselves to blame huh?
At least she brought joy to the family for the past years. We practically grew up together.
At times when I broke down, she would come up to me, get my attention and try to cheer me up.
She would wake me and my dad up from naps, stop fights in my family, and most importantly, she was there for every single one of us.
I'm glad you are at a much better place now. Thanks for the awesome memories. (:

You see, the 2nd half of the day didn't went well for me either.
I broke down right away after her death. Made some preparations, washed up and head to school.
The lesson before our break was SS. And our teacher wasn't here. I did something I wasn't proud of.
I skipped SS and had a long lunch break.
You see, I have a bad habit of binge eating whenever I get upset.
We went to Domino's and one of the guys called back. He claimed that there was no teacher. Fine, so we continued.
Went back to school and my form teacher saw me. She caught me and apparently vent her anger on me, I presume.
My friend and I were caught by her. She talked to both of us and I answered her questions directly. She said I was being rude and defensive towards her and let my friend off before she proceeded to lecture me.
She claimed I was rude and my actions were shocking as a student leader. She demanded an explanation from me. Ok, so I did raise my voice a little I guess. I don't remember. But I went along and told my loved one passed away and I was upset the whole day. And perhaps I could't handle everything and sort of let my emotions overwhelm me. Quick side note, I apologised more than 3 times and almost broke down because I really cannot handle everything. Why? She said she was wasting time talking to me and could have went for early lunch instead. She even used my testimonial to scare me. Saying she would delete the lies and add in more of the truth instead.
Let me say this, LEADERS MAKE MISTAKES.
I was apologetic for both of my actions.
Oh, worse still, she said this.
"Just because your loved one... Just because such a thing happened, doesn't mean the whole world revolves around you and only your emotions!"
So, instead of having a bit of sympathy and empathy, you have to make things worse and hurt me with your dagger-like words. I swore I was apologetic throughout time we were "talking." That day couldn't get any better huh?
I am learning from my mistakes and trying to make as little as possible.
No one is a freaking perfectionist. No leader is. Not even our own teachers. Whatever, I'm going to bury the hatchet and let her be. I apologised so many times. Can't do much.
I'm sure someone will try to screenshot certain parts of this post and send it to our teachers. Please, send the whole link instead of images. At least sabotage me with the real post, not fake, "selected" parts of my post.

I have so much more I want to say. But I guess I won't blog about it now. Such a lengthy post.
And by the way, I apologise if I have offended anyone because of this post. Wait, why are you offended again? Find me personally if you have any problems with all these. -.-
If you have read till here, thanks. I really appreciate the effort.

I will be back. Soon. Promise. :B
Meanwhile, here is something to compensate you readers. :D

And do check this out:

CLICK ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :D

Ever felt like... You're upset and happy at the same time? Don't like this feeling. I don't even know what's wrong.

Exams are here and I'm so not in the mood to study. ):

I did badly for my EL paper and I thought my parents would be more understanding this time. Talked to them about it and guessed what? 

"Might as well don't study. Waster my money." 

Wow. Seriously? I got top 20 = unhappy parents. I got top in bio/chem = unhappy parents. The lists goes on I tell you. And they aren't even proud of me. Oh, one more example, SPEECH DAY. I was the freaking FLAG BEARER! And my parents were like :"Not Parade commander also, useless." 

I'm not trying to imply anything here. I mean, I love my parents, but they are seriously ridiculous. I've always tried my best and will always aim for 1st in class by the end of the year. And when I do achieve it, they are not happy at all. Why? NOT FIRST IN STANDARD. Gosh. Never mind. There's more. I had a few poly courses in mind at the same time aim for a certain JC. And my dad told me last week that I must go to a JC by all means. 

I get it. It's for my own good. But still... Ah, no one will understand. ): 

Oh, and I have something to share. :> Presenting... the H3ROES project!

So yuhua students who happen to see this, this is what the can tabs are for. This project. :D

Lol. Like anyone reads this blog of mine. :X Did I mention that Nadhirah and Erra are super cute in this video? Oh, and please, pardon my face. I look and sound horrible. My face was so oily that day o.o

Ok, till next time! :D 

Andy Warhol + Titanic = Awesome experience.

Went to MBS yesterday with Erra, Shaun and Anders. Our main intention is to go for the Titanic exhibition. But we ended up going to the Andy Warhol exhibition as well. Search him up if you don't know him. He is a well-known icon for pop art. :D 

The famous Marilyn Monroe pop art done by Andy Warhol! Pretty isn't it?? :D He is also well known for his campbell soup drawings. Do google him! Especially the art students, he is super cool. *-*

We then proceed to the Titanic exhibition and we were given a boarding pass at the entrance. Each boarding pass had a name of a real passenger that boarded Titanic. Mine was a baby named Elizabeth Gladys Dean "Millvina". She boarded the Titanic at the age of nine weeks old. I went to do some research on her after the exhibition and I found out that she was the youngest passenger on board and she was also the last survivor of the Titanic who passed away. Go google her as well! Cool lady. She was super lucky. Her whole family except for her father survived the whole accident. So honoured to get such a character. :>

Oh, and I was the only one who got a passenger who survived. The passengers that the other 3 got wasn't so lucky. ):

Tickets for both exhibitions!!! :D 

 My "boarding pass". ^^

Shall try to catch the movie. :D

Putting this aside, my F&N practical is in 2 days time. How scary. I'm super scared about the outcome of the dishes. :/

Ok, I'm off to analyse ROTHMC. Lit test tomorrow. Gosh, real tight and hectic schedule. x.x

Overdue post on speech day.

Last speech day in Yuhua and it was awesome. :D

Even though there was a major cock up uh. -.- I hate myself so much for that. But nonetheless, I tried my best and the mistake made wasn't too obvious (hopefully). 

Oh, and I'm going to the titanic exhibition later on! Hopefully I can get some photos uh :D

SPEECH DAY THIS FRIDAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!! :D

And hopefully my dear sec 1 kids did not give up. 

Looking forward to the actual day!! :D

Last speech day in yuhua!!!!!! Woo~ Here I come~

Defying Gravity~

I had an awesome experience 2 days ago...

That's right! I got the chance to watch Wicked!! It is a super meaningful musical. Shall not spoil it for those who wants to watch it. ;D

Wicked touched on a few social issues e.g. how judgemental people are. Try to catch it if you can! Did not regret spending $168 on this. :D

Dear Anonymous,

I don't know why you chose to frame me like this.
Do you know that I am stepping down in April? Why can't you let me serve my last 2 months in this board in peace? If your aim is to get me out of the board, I'm sorry, I swear I will stay until the day I step down. My councillors mean a lot to me. Trust me, I went through a whole lot of bullshit just for them, and I have never regretted it, not even once at all.
If your aim is to get me into trouble or to bring me down, I have to say, sucks to be you. That didn't happen. (:
You are really mean. Do you know how disappointed he was? And do you know how guilty I felt because I disappoint a mentor of mine? I don't know what you will gain from this. Seriously.
He didn't ask me to step down. He merely asked me to delete the statuses.
And so, thanks to you, I went home and spent 3 hours on my facebook wall. Looking through every single post and status. Well, except for the birthday wishes. I even went to look for an app that will reveal all my facebook statuses.
Penal code? Insulting a Huayi guy? No vegetarian food? Insulting him?
None of my statuses was related to any of these topics.
It's okay. I would like to thank you instead. Oh, why?
The 3 hours I've spent on reading all those posts = a stroll down memory lane.
Thanks anonymous. I didn't break down nor was I super mad. You got me smiling to myself instead.
Another thing.
He chose the wrong president? Ok. I might not have the best character in school. No one is to judge my leadership qualities unless I am working with you. And if I am, please, do approach me and talk to me about it. Not frame me and try to get me into trouble.
If the reason for framing me is due to the fact that I have offended you, I apologise. Got a problem with me, tell me. Not stay anonymous and tell my mentor or teacher-in charge.
But still, I would like to thank you. You taught me an important lesson. Really appreciate it. (:

Just saw something that really meaningful.
Quoted from Kent Healy,

 Leadership is never agame of comparison, it’s a process of cross-pollination.

Admirable leaders, on the other hand, deliberately surround themselves with those better than themselves.

I see... :D

Another thing I would like to talk about.
How judgemental society is.
I know I've touched on this before. Just need to address (chey, sound so serious) some issues.
I don't get why people are so judgemental. When you see 2 Bangladesh workers holding hands, what is the first thing that comes to your mind? I'm very sure that most of you will come up with remarks like "Urm, gay much?" Or just simply... Gay.
Oh, another example. When you see a teenager sitting down in the MRT and there is someone else who needs it more standing up, what is the first thing that comes to your mind? "How inconsiderate." Am I right?
In the first place, why are people so stereotypical? Why can't two good guy friends hold hands? If holding hands with the same gender means that you're homosexual, then... All the girls out there holding hands with their close friends are lesbians? Kindergarten(yes, that's how you spell it) kids are gay? "Oh, that's a different case." Please be more open-minded.
And those teens. Who knows they might be tired. And they are really resting, not faking it. And they might not even see the elder/pregnant lady who needs the seat more. Okay, some are just plain selfish. But who are we to judge them? They might have a reason for not giving it up. They might be injured or something right?
I'm not perfect. And I'm not here to preach you people on how to stop judging people. I do judge people, but at least I'm trying to change it. What I'm trying to say is that we should be less stereotypical and judgemental.
Just think about it. Even if you have comments, please, keep it to yourself. Don't even share it. Words can kill.

:D

People change, feelings fade. 

It has been a year. 

Good luck then. (: 

Survived the first week of 2012~ :D

YOU.

Yes, you.
Do you know you are irritating the hell out of me?
Who the hell says this kind of stuff. It doesn't even sound like a joke to me. And I think you mean it right?
Well, imagine me saying that to you. You like it? Yes? Come on. I don't even like her. Who the hell says that?It's like saying that me and the person I don't like are best friends? Get things right. This is life. You have to be nice to people you don't like as well. Just because I am nice to people doesn't mean I tell them stuff and trust them like some BFFL. (pfft.... -.-) Ok, Do you know I feel like slapping you because you've totally crossed the line and you didn't realise? ._.
And then you have to make things worse? Eh sorry. My bag cheap = not your problem. FYI, IT'S FREAKING EXPENSIVE FOR SOMEONE LIKE ME. I know you are rich larh, NOT MY PROBLEM. To hell with you, seriously.
One more thing, I didn't reply on whatsapp. Why? I WANT TO STUDY. GOD DAMN IT. Fun uh? Spam from 6 plus all the way till midnight. Do you know that because of the notifications, I cannot concentrate on my homework? I don't mind you all discussing math, but seriously? Spamming emoticons and stuff? Go do it somewhere else. Oh, and you think I never read one uh? I read it and it bloody pissed me off. I sleep? Cause I am a pig? Don't assume. I am trying to concentrate on bio. -.-
And we all tried helping you, telling you to be more optimistic and all. You don't want to heed, sudah larh. Still want to talk so much. We tried helping. You don't want help yourself only. Become paranoid. You want to stress yourself out, WE CAN'T HELP.(If you don't know what's sudah, go find out yourself -.-)
Do you need an intervention? I hope not. Go reflect, please.
You have to spoil my lovely day early in the morning. Bitch much.
Yes. It takes a bitch to know a bitch. I am one. Oh, and if you are all paranoid again, just to clarify, I don't hate you. I'm just ANNOYED. Pfft.

New year, new beginning? :D

Hey there! (:

2011 passed super fast. It was due to my busy schedule I guess.

It was a year that thought me so much. And frankly speaking, it was actually an awful year for me. 

Yes, I had my share of laughter. What I meant was that it was actually the worst year out of my 3 years in secondary school so far. 

I learnt to accept the situation my family is currently in. All these drama. Thank god it didn't affect my studies. 

I was so busy, I neglected my friends. I lose my best friend and my close friends. I caught up with them. But the distance is still there. I have to learn to deal with that. Wrong moves and decisions backfire and I broke down a lot. But it's all part of life. What's important is to learn how to stand up again after every fall. And I'm proud to say I did. (:

Another important lesson I've learnt in 2011, there are things which are beyond my control and I have to respect the authorities' decisions. 

Being a leader isn't easy, and frankly speaking, I can't wait to step down and really focus on my studies. But it also gave me opportunities to make new friends and learn new things. :D 

H3ROES, TLLS, OBS, councillor training camp,YLC, YLSC, annual councillor camp, NCDCC camp and cohort leadership camp. Yea. That's a lot of camps for a year huh? :B

Not forgetting Langkawi trip. (:

Okay okay, I will add some photos to make this post more interesting. And afterall, a picture speaks a thousand words.

All these are just random photos. ^^

So, how did I end 2011? With my lovely friends!! <3

We went ice skating and then to Clarke Quay for the countdown. 

A tradition for people to kiss on New year? Nah, we had a group hug instead. :B

Oh, I want to show you guys something. :B

When it's 2011, you are excited for the new year, the countdown! You will look like this.... 

But you wait and wait, and it's finally 2012! You will look like.....
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Wait for it
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Like this!

Tired and exhausted from all those waiting and partying! HAHAHAHAH. I FIND THIS THEORY FROM NASUHA HILARIOUS. XD

I went home in a good mood. 

And someone have to spoil my new year. Happy new year. Thanks for breaking my heart uh. (:

It's okay. :B I start off today morning, I mean afternoon, on a good note. :D I had the best dream ever!!! :D 

Sadly, it is only just a dream. ):

Now, time for my new year's resolutions!!! ^^


#1, Be a better person! :D
This is the most common, yet the hardest resolution. Have to have the courage to face setbacks and criticism before I can change for the better. "Better person" is rather general. By person, I mean a better friend, daughter, classmate, schoolmate, leader... You name it. :D


#2, Get rid of my lingo!
Mdm Geja told me I have this lingo when I do public speaking. Okay... I don't mean get rid. I just want to learn to control it so that I can use it at the right time. Why? Because my "lingo" is apparently somewhat informal. O:

#3, Lose weight.
Duhh, girls like me would definitely have this on their lists. :B


#4, Study hard. 
Yes. I want to get 9 for my O's. Crazy? Nah. I call this ambitious. (: 


#5, Be myself.
Society is so judgemental nowadays. I want to be myself. Who cares about what others think of me, right? No. I'm not there yet. If not I won't have to lie and encrypt some stuff on my blog. :/


That's it. I guess. 2011 has been a meaningful year. I will make 2012 way better. (: Happy new year! :D