I FEAR GOING TO SCHOOL.

This week is killing me. In fact since the starting of the year. Shit 2011. Seriously.
I don't know whether it's stress or am I just too upset. I lose my appetite recently. I'm hungry but I have to force myself to eat. And if I can't. I will just skip meals. And this caused me to put on a lot of weight. Gahh. Yea. I'm this weird. I have to eat to prevent myself from gaining weight. -____-
The fact that yesterday was speech day sucked. Lots of photos will be up on fb. Photos of all of you marching, having fun and in the process, wipe me out of your memories. Tried putting that at the back of my head yet I can't. The fact that 6 of you are my closest friends hurts even more. Putting words in my mouth, removing that particular thing and replacing me with some other people, even juniors.
Yesterday, I wanted to look for you guys. I walk towards all of you, and I saw all of you having so much fun. I can't help but turn back. I felt like breaking down at that point of time. But I have to go up to the rest of the teachers and councillors with a smile. Fml much?
The whole group of you walk pass me like nothing had happened. Even when I approach you and talk to you. You gave me that freaking awkward smile. All you said was "What? Oh. Okay. Hi. Yea, I know, Our cca improved a lot."
I don't want to go to school anymore. "You should have transferred to Cedar. Even though you will be in the last class there." The "best" advice ever. Thanks a lot.
And all these are happening at the wrong time. At the time when I have so much to do. When I need the most support.
There's still so much more I have to keep to myself. And I'm going crazy.

I found my sec 1 Ncdcc cca photo. Best cadet last time. Now what? ):
Yeah. My heart still ache a lot about it. I place so much effort, so much pride on my cca. Life is never fair huh? O'well. Bye SNCO. ): My dream of geting WO as well.
OKAY SHUT UP CARISSA. Who cares? Grrr.

Can't find this, can't find this, can't find this! *cross fingers* Heheheh. Aiya. Only if you put in effort and bother to. :B

Great. Have to spend another day doing homework. Holidays are not holidays at all. So much to do. Homework, planning... Oh yeah. Planning of councillors' investiture. I dreamt of it last night. -.- Focus too much on it I guess. OHHH. AND I HAVE TO ATTEND MONDAY'S MEETING!!! Won't get extra sleep. :/
O'well. With heavy roles and duties comes heavy responsibilities. At least I'm lucky to get this opportunity and experience. :D
Pffft. Okay. I need to start work already. Gosh. I want to get it over and done with. x.x