I've been staying up for the past few weeks, preparing for councillor camp. I need to come up with 4 ppts and I'm still at lecture 1 on leadership.
I did so much research and read up so much on leadership. I even thought about my own life, and yet...
I'm not done with even 1 slide! D:
I have to blame myself for not having an end in mind. I can't find any source of inspiration at all!

See! I'm stressed to the extent of going bald! Terrible!
And I might have to bring my laptop over to Langkawi during the immersion trip. If not I will not be able to finish everything just in time for the camp.
I don't have time for anything else other than all these lecture slides. No time for breaks.
Anyways, just going to share something I find very inspirational..

Don’t hope. Decide.

Just 3 words. Peel the layers off yourself. :D

I'm back from the 8th youth leaders camp. I have to say, it's more of a luxury camp then a training camp. No kidding. The apartment is awesome, the food is awesome and the activities are awesome.
You see the photo up there? ^ Those are my super awesome apartment mates. :D
When we first reach Ngee Ann, we went to TheLoft@94 to check out the apartment that we will be staying in. It was a nice chalet style apartment that is fully air-conditioned.
The food, oh gosh. Day 1 = Puff and pie from polar puffs and cakes, botak jones, food court. Day 2 = Mac, nasi lemak, food from breeks cafe. Day 3 = Prata, pizza. Hahahaha, shiok. (Y) Activities? Outdoor experiential learning - parafan, abseiling, rock wall, etc. Workshops conducted by high achievers and dialogue in the dark. Dialogue in the dark is not just about talking in the dark, it's more than that.
It is actually a museum and we went for a tour in it. What's so special about it? It's in the dark. And we won't be able to see anything. We were split into groups, given a blind man's cane and experienced what it is like to be visually impaired. Of course, being led by a blind guide. We cross roads, came to this fruit stall and went to this "cafe". We bought drinks from a blind "cafe" owner and all of us had a chatting session. All in the dark.
I myself had difficulties walking and drinking in the dark. Oh, by dark, I really mean not being able to see at all. Imagine that. Our blind guide told us that he lost his sight when he was 6. He woke up and could not see anything. He did not want to be sent to the school for the visually impaired people. Instead, he went to a normal primary and secondary school. And got a diploma from a polytechnic. Amazing isn't it? It was a really meaningful experience and it taught me how to appreciate what I have.
Today morning, we had our final workshop. The consultant from the group of coaches from high achievers approached me and ask me to join them as a coach. He said they were looking for people like me and he hope that I will join them. My initial expression --> O.O He gave me his name card and told me to consider this offer. I'm still shocked. Hahahah. :B
YLC was one of the most enjoyable camps ever. I was able to learn so much from it. I'm looking forward to the RED camp. :D
P.S. I have a super sexy voice right now.
Vikings \m/ ^^

I blogged at marina barrage. But I didn't see that post. I think it wasn't posted. Never mind.
I was saying blogging about kites. Yes. Kites.
They took me granted for that day. I was already upset about the incident when they doubt my abilities. That really sets me thinking.
We reached Marina Barrage. All of us looked up. There were lots of kites. Their reactions? "Wow! This is beautiful!" And they laughed at the kites that were stuck in the trees.
And that was when I realized that actually humans are similar to kites.
For example, if I were to do something well, I will be like a kite that is flying up high in the sky. People around will say that my achievement is great and they will look up to me. They will praise me. Just like how they exclaim that the kites flying up high are beautiful.
Then again, who will notice the beauty of the kites that are stuck in the trees? Hardly anyone. No one will even bother trying to get it down. Who will make an effort to get the kites down? They can just buy a new one.
Similarly, we human beings are like that.  When we are stuck, and we are tied down by some difficulties, no one will be there for you. People will claim they will, but to be frank, they will laugh at you and mock you. No one will really help you. No one will even look at how good you are. And you will be as good as a kite. Stuck in a tree.
Then again, I thought about it for awhile. And I realised something.
What about me...?
Where can I classify myself?
And that was when Shaun's kite was one of the highest. It soon got tangled by other strings, but it managed to fly up high again.
So that's where I classify myself.
I achieved something. Great results and a great position in the student council; the president.
People look up to me. Tell me how well I've done.
But when I'm stuck, and was entangled by my problems, no one was there. I have to fight for myself. When I crash, people will start laughing at me. They mock me. Doubt that I will get to that highest point of life again.
I prove them wrong, show them that I can do it. I did my best. Did better than before.
Just like that kite.
But then, people will get bored of it.
They will not care anymore. They need a new source of entertainment.
I'm sure the kite feels lonely, being up there, higher than other kites, all alone.
That's how I feel. I see.
It really reflects on human beings. Really.
A really great lesson learnt.

Trust no man, fear no bitch.

I feel that people take me for granted. Seriously.

It feels so horrible. Knowing the fact that no one can be trusted. History repeats itself. 

I was enjoying my day. Chatting away and doing my notes, eating dinner and talking about random stuff.

And your call, it changed my life. Really, ain't exaggerating. 

It made me realised that I really do have a massive crush on him. And then you have to spoil my day. Fucking bastard. To think you understand how I feel, and you are my closest guy friend. 

Or should I say were? Hah. Do you know how long it took for me to trust people again, after the first library incident? 

And then she told me about you. And I was so shocked. Fuck you bitch. And you too, fucking gay. 

Seriously. You people take me for granted. Did I ever play that horrible prank on you? NO. Bastard.

And to make things worse, hah, parents. 

Just because of a newspaper? What the heck? It isn't about money. It's just bloody 90 cents. I want love. Not money. I want trust, not money. In fact, I rather be poor, than to be this unhappy.

You saw me crying. And you have to scold me to make things worse. 

None of you care. Just curious, right? I'm so done with everything. 

Truth is, no one will care. They claim they do, but they are just curious. They just want to know what had happened. And after that, they will despise you for who you are.
Meaningful lesson learnt today.
Shouldn't open up to people again huh? Smart choice. Be independent.
:D

Problems are never ending. I'm not wishing for the best nor am I going to wish for the worse to come. Nah, wishes, 11:11(s), they exist just to give false hope. Not going to wish for anything anymore. Learning to be independent = best solution ever.
Haters got to hate. I have no idea what got into both of you, but I've decided I should give up on both of you. Not worth my time, not worth my tears. Best friend, close friend? Sorry, this is all bullshit. (:
I guess this few months were really emotional and problematic. But I guess that's how life is. Not everyone is going to appreciate all the effort you've put in. Not everything will be smooth sailing and most people will not be there for you even when they claim they will. And I came to overcome the fear of allowing my close ones to put on cement shoes. Everyone is going to find cash in their chips someday, and we just have to let go when the time comes.
All I want to do now is to concentrate on my studies and just try my best to fight for my rights to stay in this school . I'm sure it's possible.
P.S. Do you know, those who smile and laugh the most are the ones who faced or went through the most emotional pain?

CIVIC DISTRICT TOUR WAS THE MOST TORTUROUS TRIP OF MY LIFE. -.-
I swear. The past week isn't a good one, every single day I spent in school sucks. And faking smiles have never been any harder before.
Let me tell a short story..
There is this group of people. They name themselves "problems". They have this ally called "stress". They have a common interest; to ruin people's life. They make people's life miserable and they seem to have everything planned out nicely. Take for example, what happened to Japan. "Problems" caused an earthquake there. Japan saw this coming and have backup lights and electricity ready when the earthquake broke the main source of power. However, "problems" knew that Japan was ready, and launch a tsunami, causing panic. It even cause the nuclear plant to leak and hence, "stress" came in to create havoc.
Why am I saying all these crap?
You got me. They approached me.
You must be thinking, bullshit. You are comparing your life to the people in Japan? Come on, you got a way better life than them!
So please, allow me to finish what I'm trying to convey here.
Seems like "problems" and "stress" tried a brand new approach on me. "problems" started out first, but their approach was slow and small. "stress" came in as planned. He gave me a truckload of things to do and settle. "problems" strike again. How? In all aspects. Their plan took quite some time. But the outcome was very satisfying for them.
You see, the thing is, some people are able to overcome both of them whenever they strike.
But I can't.
They had everything planned out nicely. And they had fun bullying me. They were so happy to see me cry. Everything went better than planned.
Dramatic, it may seem. Believe it a not, but it's a true story.
Think I'm exaggerating? Wait till you have the fear of losing your parents anytime.
Why can't they tell me when I was a little younger? I regret everything. I didn't appreciate the fact that I had a happy family.
The next thing I know, I will really be off to some other country, under the care of a guardian.
My closest aunt might just pass away anytime. And that made things worse.
It's not that I don't want to tell my friends anything. But it's hard, to get it all out of my mouth.
Dear friends, do you guys understand how I feel now?